Snow Day

A Snow day
Just may be
Mother natures way
to say to me
home you stay
spend your day
at rest and play
BjM2-26-7

Link engaged

Sorry I was writing,
Trying to connect
All the broken pieces
There's more than I expect

With each word a story
A lifetime to unfold
Masked behind the shame
Now waiting to be told

Hidden in the shadows
Of my complex mind
Are the well kept secrets
Of those who are unkind

One must see the darkness
To appreciate the light
The adjustment is uncomfortable
Must resist the urge for flight

For fear of being like them
Life of darkness and shame
Look into your self
There is no one else to blame

Choose the path of kindness
Walk into the light
No matter how your tempted
Try to do whats right

It's not about religion
Just what's right and wrong
The choices that we make
Determine if our life is long
BjM 2-17-7

Gateway Food

I used Smartie’s casually
Alone with no one there
One day it dawned on me
To find a friend and share

At the high school party
A place to find friends
I want to be popular
Before my life ends

They stood in a circle
The most popular girls
I looked on in awe
At the glamour and curls

I mustered up my courage
With new box in hand
I would ask a question
Hey, where did you get your tan?

That was it I was in
Clever as a fox
Just waiting for the moment
To share the contents of the box

I reached into my pocket
And slowly revealed the candy
I was so excited
Everything seemed so dandy

They did not want Smartie’s
She tossed them aside
I could not believe the look
Of disgust in her eyes

Smartie’s are kids stuff
She said, reaching in her purse
Lifting a small brown bag
I have never felt worse

The colours are so vibrant
And powerful she said
These must be used with caution
You can get in over your head

Then they pulled me closer
To share the secret they hold
I stood mesmerized watching
Waiting for the scene to unfold

Green is the most powerful
Taking one she said
Show a green to a boy
And he will go were lead

Try the brown first she warned
Before dropping them in my palm,
OK I assured her I would
But, I was anything but calm

I looked around for peering eyes
And when none could be found
I popped the brown one in my mouth
And slowly I unwound

My knees got weak immediately
The room began to spin
I can’t describe the pleasure
That my mouth was in

It took a few moments
But I now understand
Smartie’s are kids stuff
But that’s where I began

Now I find myself a slave
To the vending machine
The sound of loose change
Makes my heart sing

Digging through the sofa
Searching for quarters on the floor
Scrounging through moms purse
Behind the closed locked door

I am not a thief
I just have a great need
Others don’t understand
I have an addiction to feed

It is my ecstasy
My Valium too
Nothing else soothes me
Like M&M’s do
BjM 2-17-7
{For Berner with love}

Seventh Grade

Scared, alone, I wandered
Into the big new school
With the other strangers
The girls were dressed like fools

It was only yesterday
My world was so pure
Now I feel so awkward
Inept, unpolished, unsure

Artificial and phony
The start of seventh grade
From class to class we traveled
Like some weird parade

Everything is done for show
Contrived without intent
Unknowing the infliction
Imposing what is meant

Utter teenage confusion
Contention and strife
Ingraining all the patterns
The forming of our life

The basis of beginning
Adulthood on the rise
Coming to existence
Trying to reach the prize

Can’t wait until we’re older
Try to rush right through
A deep need to run from
The thorniness of you

Maturity has short memories
Of the long path walked
The lessons of our travels
Repeating things once balked

Redundantly we wander
On the road we made
Relying on the knowledge
That we learned in seventh grade
BjM 2-10-7

Begin to End

As a baby I cried out
It got me attention
There never was a doubt

As a toddler I acted up
They oh’ed and awed
Said I was cute as a pup

I started school became the class clown
The role suited me
I had the act down

As a teenager they called me bad
They used to encourage this behavior
So why are they getting mad?

As a young adult out on my own
Feeling sorry for myself
Getting hit by the curves that life has thrown

Finally; an adult at last
Heading towards the future
Trying to drop the scars of the past

The baggage is heavy, it weighs me down
It leads me right into
The shadiest part of town

I find others like me, carrying bags of old
Down here everyone has them
We display them like gold

We all fill our bodies with toxic potions
Helps to lighten the baggage
Soothing us like the sound of the ocean

It works for a while then we need more
We will steal and we will beg
Until you get tired of slamming the door

Middle age won’t find me for I will be dead
A life wasted on self-pity
Such a shame they all said

Please close the casket it’s too late for me
Don’t race through your life
Save your self now, stop to breathe and set yourself free
BjM 7-16-05