The Price of Punishment

I want to write to you 

 tell you how I feel

 but I'm afraid the

 words  will make it real 

 I think you will get angry 

 and then things will get worse 

but the silence is deafening

 in my private curse

 If we are really quiet

 and we all pretend

 the anger won't go away

 the broken hearts won't mend 

 I am sorry to have hurt you

 I am sorry you are down 

I'm sorry I can't be more

 I'm sorry I make you frown

 My heart aches for you more

 than my fractures ever did

 I ache for what I can't have

 I ache for what I did

 I'll pay the price of punishment

 til I can't pay any more

 I ask for your forgiveness

 If it is something you can afford

 12-01-08 BjM

September 15 1975

 September 15, 1975 

I did not hear the ring

Upon the fence I climbed

I saw my father leave

I heard the ambulance chimes

Without a spoken word

I could feel the fear

The world about to change

This was very clear

I heard my mothers voice

The facts she did unwind

Death had taken grandpa

Upon the fence I climbed

BjM 9-15-14

The First Game

A broken soul, a lost child 

Found a place to belong.

With 8 other broken pieces, 

Together they were one.

At 6 yrs old we gathered

We didn’t know the names 

But one of my clearest memories 

Was playing that first game. 

I knocked the ball deep right centre 

And headed for first base. 

They told me to keep going

So I picked up the pace.

I could hear the cheering 

as I rounded second base.

I then passed My teammate 

Dragging her as I raced.

Crossing third it happened 

The Ump declared me out

I remember the anger 

And the words that I did shout 

The ball is no where near us

How can I be out ?

I hit the ball the farthest 

There wasn’t any doubt!

The problem is, No passing! 

You should have slowed your pace.

And let your teammate go first,

before, you crossed the base. 

He was the first ump I yelled at,

The first to boot me from a game.

There were many after, 

But it wasn’t quite the same.

His face turned red in anger, 

But my coach gave me a wink.

It seems he took exception,

To me calling him a dink.

From that moment forward,

Our team began to form.

The beginnings of the framework,

The calm to all my storms.

The lessons that life taught us,

In those 4 days a week.

Whether the others knew it, 

They were the solace I did seek.

The nicknames we garnered,

Are like a secret code.

Of all the times we gathered,

Just Off Foritana Road.

Diamond fours my favourite, 

Although we played them all.

Something about that corner, 

And how far we could hit the ball.

Ten plus years as teammates,

We gained and lost a few.

But those that stuck together, 

Were bonded strong like glue.

We were a band of outcasts,

That found a way to fit.

We won many games,

And didn’t take any shit.

Riding to our games,

In the back of the pick up truck.

Cruising through the city,

Tossing pennies, pressing our luck.

There were no parents watching, 

Or caring what we did.

For we lived in a time,

You trusted others with your kids.

The lessons that life taught us,

Or we learned the hard way.

Are what laid the ground work, 

To the person I am today.

We trusted in our teammates,

And listened to our coach.

He laid down all the wisdom, 

He had the right approach.

I am for ever grateful, 

For they saved my life. 

Giving me stability,

In a world full of strife.

The walk down memory lane,

Seems like happen stance.

Of intermingled childhood,

Of those who took the chance.

It’s really long past credit,

For the foundation that was laid.

The teaching seemed so simple,

We just thought we played.

BjM  011821

Feigned

Feigned is our outrage 

At the latest trends

But change is only afforded 

To those willing to bend

 

Wanting alone, won’t help you

More needs to be done.

Gather your Keyboard warriors 

And their only Sons 

 

Fight your own demons 

Stand for a belief 

Don’t hide behind idealism 

And expect to find relief.

 

Change can not afford you

Wearing that tinfoil hat

Pull your head, out of your ass 

and go, and check the facts.

BjM 1-9-21 cvd 

Good Friday

 

The Music isn't in Me

The music isn't in me 

the words I can't contain. 

I have so many questions 

the answers yet remain.

Do you need to know things?

Or do you float on by? 

Need to know the reasons? 

The if's, the and's, the why's? 

Can you unlock the secrets? 

Can you find the clues? 

Where does the story lead you, 

If you go beyond the Hows and Whos?

The quest is not for everyone

In fact for very few

but it piqued my curiosity 

If one of them was you.

BjM 03-06-18

BjM 06-15-20

Let IT GO

A Way to end a Decade

A place to leave a mark 

the thought of looking backward

To reflect, to fill your heart.

Remember but a moment 

Then revert your focus inline

the past though fondly remembered 

can only be lived one time.

For a glimpse of what made us

the road traveled to where we are 

A path in which we walked on 

The path that made our scars

Remember your journey,

Your  road  trail or path

The lessons that it brought you

the imprint on your soul they cast

A journey is what you make it 

you decide the baggage you stow

Gather what you can handle 

Take the rest and LET IT GO.

BjM 12-21-19

 

How Does it Work

How does it all work?

What exactly makes it tick?

The momentum behind the motion,

is the Fire to my Wick.

BjM 12-22-19

Clock Ticks

‪Day turns to night . . . ‬
‪Light fades to dark . . .‬
‪Noise dissipates ..‬
‪Silence does not repair .. ‬
‪We wait ... ... ...‬

‪Clocks tick .. ‬

‪Seconds turn to minutes ..‬
‪Minutes into hours ..‬
‪Tick tick tick ..‬
‪Count the Mississippi’s..‬
‪And wait .. .. ..‬

‪BjM 04-26-20‬

When stuck inside ones head

The darkness hides the light
Encompassing the good things
Encouraging the urge for flight

The demons were all masked
A cushion for the pins
Of questions never asked

Happy is the facade it doesn’t last
Shine a light upon  your soul
What shadow does it cast

A hint of happy remains
The sadness of reality
Courses through our veins

Struggle through the days
When stuck inside ones head

Joy

Joy has left the building
She packed up and moved away
I can’t help wanting to follow suit
It’s too unbearable to stay

It’s not a single thing
A compilation of acts
The fight has gone on too long
Let’s just present the facts

The details will just bore you
Don’t feign that you care
Demise is what’s inevitable
The fight was never fair

A burden placed upon her
The weight gave the strength
But beyond the smoke and mirrors
The fight can’t match the length

Know you’re not a saviour
A keeper of the smile
It’s just that iron curtain
Gets heavy after a while

A life spent pretending
Distracting with intent
Look at the shiny objects
Until you feel content

A life seems like it’s wasted
From the outside looking in
The engines now on empty
The lifeblood running thin

Take all the thoughts that matter
And put them on a shelf
A collection of the happy times
It’s the sum of the wealth

Joy left the building
The bitch just moved away
Not sure you can keep her
Not sure she can stay.
BjM 8-13-19

Untold its still a Story

Not all words can be spoken,
no matter the content.
Untold it's still a story,
a series of events.

Actions can speak volumes,
there is no trust required.
Words can seem like lip service,
coating the rhetoric in which we're mired.

The beginning is too painful,
the middle is just wrong.
The end’s the thing in question,
is the story short or long.

A life is saved with kindness,
knowing someone is there.
An idea you can cling too,
when you forget somebody cares.

Sometimes it doesn't matter,
the pain is far too strong.
To overcome the darkness,
they've been fighting far too long.

Don't take it so personally,
It isn't about you.
The pain just overcame them,
they didn't know what else to do.

A story can end swiftly,
lacking reason or rhyme.
For unless you are in the fight,
you can not gauge the time.

BjM 8619

6 Years

Five yrs came and went
The Ink marks the date
A rocky road we traveled
The keeper of the gate

The focus blurred the message
of lessons meant to teach
The examples that were set
Did not match the preach.

The skills are learned behaviors
Of actions more than words
For proof as in the doing
Not following the herd.
12-12-17 BjM    

A decade ago

A decade ago, or maybe three and a half
A couple of kids, hung out, just for some laughs
A wineskin, a party, a walk to a car
Who could have guessed, it’d ever go this far.

Bread runs, frozen breaks, singing on truck rides.
Time spent on the road, where there is no place to hide
Broken bones, road races, camping by the lake.
Bike rides, quad trips, Our lives been pretty great.

The outrigger to my canoe, the sand between my toes.
The path that is less wandered, does lead us where we go.
Thankful for the memories, although they are far from done
Never forget, what's important like the Race, which I Won!
62919 BjM

Six Two Nine

Six two nine
Makes it Dub Trey
Who'd a Thunk
we'd see the day
From races ran
to places lost
been worth the price
At twice the cost
Had some fun
seen some things
Even though
we had no rings
Pick a path
stay the course
Living a life
with out remorse
I never knew
you were the one
I promised to stay
til it was no longer Fun.
BjM 6-29-17

Globe Cafe

Think back to the beginning,
 In the Globe cafe'.
With DMac Touc and Wildy
and all the hours wasted away.
From that moment forward,
our lives have been entwined.
Through all that madness,
 we found some ties that bind.
The hours we've spent laughing
or crying on the phone.
No matter what was happening,
 I knew I was never alone.
 On your day I salute you ,
 as this year comes to an end.
 Of all the things I call you,
 The favorite is  Friend!
BjM 16-08-18

Friendship

Friendship is like a plate of cookies,

Left out, free to take!

It can cost you nothing,

It’s your choice to make.

You can stand and gorge yourself,

Until they are all gone

You can sit there wondering,

Where it all went wrong

Look back to all the cookies

That were placed out on that Plate

It’s when the dish is empty,

That you decide your fate.

Do you choose to nurture,

And share the love you bake.

Or do you go search elsewhere

Perhaps looking for cake.

Stand in that buffet line

Get all that they make

For some it’s about the filling

For others it’s all about the take

Some come to conclusion

Based on the decisions others make.

Just don’t long for cookies

After you choose the cake

BjM 1-12-17

They Say ~

Be kind to one another,
It’s empathy they preach.
Kindness in small gestures,
That’s surely in our reach.

It’s not about a candidate
Or who was voted more
Today the world went backwards
Lost some values from its core?
Intolerance, is a distraction!
For the fear that lies inside.
When really, we should be minding
The spaces in which, we reside.
Don’t buy the propaganda,
Your soul is not for sale.
Division begets conquering,
We know the end of that tale.
If you can’t stand for your beliefs,
Without knocking others down.
Perhaps the issue is closer to home,
Never mind who the country crowned.
To defend an action,
That is not your own.
May just leave you standing,
Casting others stones.
Be kind to one another,
It’s empathy they preach.
Kindness in small gestures,
That’s surely in our reach.
BjM 11/8/16

They Say ~

Be kind to one another,
It’s empathy they preach.
Kindness in small gestures,
That’s surely in our reach.

It’s not about a candidate
Or who was voted more
Today the world went backwards
Lost some values from its core?
Intolerance, is a distraction!
For the fear that lies inside.
When really, we should be minding
The spaces in which, we reside.
Don’t buy the propaganda,
Your soul is not for sale.
Division begets conquering,
We know the end of that tale.
If you can’t stand for your beliefs,
Without knocking others down.
Perhaps the issue is closer to home,
Never mind who the country crowned.
To defend an action,
That is not your own.
May just leave you standing,
Casting others stones.
Be kind to one another,
It’s empathy they preach.
Kindness in small gestures,
That’s surely in our reach.
BjM 11/8/16

Please Stay

If you have contemplated of suicide, on this your life depends

There’s many ways to end it all, how will your means meet ends?

Have you considered those who’d find you. or how you made them feel?

Have you really felt the feelings, before you make this real?

Do you wonder if they'll think, it was payback time?

What if they miss the point, think you are making the light your lime?

Under all the bravado, I know the pain is true

Under each mask, there is a newer you

Under the bridge, a final resting place

Under your skin, with in the needles trace

At first they miss you, they put out an APB

If only we could avoid, all this in-sanity

The pain and suffering, have gone full circle now

It’s too late to fix it, too late for whys and how’s

If only you spoke up, or found help on your own

If only we read the signs, or looked past the self you’ve shown.

Reaching outs not easy, for we're all so self involved.

Sorry can’t fix everything, not all guilt can be absolved.

The pain we bear, becomes a shield, an armor to the world.

A way to hide the ugly truth, a way to keep secrets furled.

The answers never cutting out, or quitting on the game.

The answers lie in fixing you, and protecting others from the same.

Stand up for you, the way you know how. Let the others be.

For you control the only you, who can be the better me.

What others think matters not, outside the manner rules.

We take our selves too seriously, sometimes we should just be fools.

Your final act upon this earth should not play out this way

The world will be a better place, Fight back, Please stay.

 BjM 2-21-16

Compass

Fear is a compass
Scars of a past
Learn to control it
Learn to outlast

Patterns of behavior
Take long to forget
Engraved are the memories
Creating the regret

If Only the happy
Lasted half as long
A warm and fuzzy feeling
Like your favourite song

We let the fear creek in
Until a river forms
Too hard to stop it
So hard to perform

Rise above the madness
and the pain that it creates
Surround your heart with kindness
and those who can relate.

Let happiness guide you
Follow where it leads
Don't wallow in pity
Get out and do good deeds.

The contentment that you long for
Is already contained within
Learning to bring it to the surface
Is a good place to Begin.

Making this your practice
Will enhance pleasure in your life
Fight past the negativity
Rise above others strife.

Let good feelings guide you
to find your true North
When you feel the fear a rising
Pack up and go Forth
BjM 7-28-16

Goodnight Mavis

Say goodnight to Mavis,

Its time she got some rest.

She’s been feeling rather poorly,

It weighs heavy on our Chest.

Taken from us quickly,

Although it breaks our hearts.

One of my favorite memories ,

Is how you loved kicking my ass at cards.

At the cribbage table,

You beat us every time.

Even if we tried to cheat,

We couldn’t get Twenty nine.

A heart so big, a smile so bright

You were the real deal.

You faced the world for what it was,

And told people how you feel.

Our broken hearts, will soon mend,

 The pain will soon subside.

We all take solace knowing,

How much you enjoyed the ride.

You loved us each for who we are,

Even those with flaws.

Looked past our imperfections,

Took on the world, as it was.

We’ll always have our Fridays’

You made me feel like kin.

My wish for your final resting place,

Is that it is chock-full of Firemen!

Goodnight Mave I love you

Miss B

Bjm 7-22-16

Senseless

I stayed up till tomorrow
To wash away today
Sometimes we do with laughter
Sometimes to hide our pain

Senseless tragic acts
Just scatter through our lives
Tossed about like shards of glass
You shouldn't step on twice

We ask all of the W's
The answered aren't shared
They just leave us believing
People turn bad and nobody cared

All too busy chasing things
And playing with our phones
How can we concern ourselves
With other people's homes.

The anger washes over us
At senseless acts like these
Sadly though it settles down
It quiets all our plea's

A life that's gone full circle
Or gone before their time
A momma and her baby
There can't be reason or rhyme

I leave to you to ponder
These thoughts out of my head
As now I'm finally ready
To snuggle in to bed.

Good Night Mavis
I Love you XxX
BjM 7-14-16

TFF

Today I lost my grandpa
the best one that I had
He left the world at 96
I still feel kinda sad

A man of great honor
Served his country too
A provider for his family
Now what will those twits do

The ones who took advantage
The ones who used you
Perhaps its time they learn to walk
a mile in their own shoes.

May you find peace on your journey
And finally get some rest
And know as far as grand~dads go
You were the very best!!
BjM 4-9-16

Changes

When you have a friend
A friend whose far from near
A friend you keep in your heart
A friend that you hold dear

A place where one can safely
Say all the words out loud
Tis the path of our journey
A badge I wear quite proud

A rambled on sentence
To you makes so much sense
And you don't even charge me
A penny nor a pence.

For you are mine buddy
My P, my long lost pal
I met you in the green room
Where we raised some hell

Twenty years come and gone
Kids have now both grown
No more bath and bed times
No more teenage hormones

As the clock ticks forward
New challenges emerge
Kids are both out working
It makes emotions surge

When the dust settles
Life will level out
With out a question
There was never a doubt

With all of the worry
And planning their fun
Your care and attention
Is what makes ya a Great Mum

XxX BjM 2-20-16

Loving an Addict

Everybody sees the Addiction
We watch the addict slowly die
The pattern of behavior
You see it in their eyes

What starts out as a party
Always ends in the same way
The addict keeps on going
Without any friends to play.

Eventually they’ll notice
That they are now alone
All their friends have been replaced
By people without homes

Addiction will take everything
Because they place it first
If they could love more than the drug
We could all avoid this curse.

Never give them money
Always stand your ground
Listen to them carefully
Sometimes it’s only sound

They need to ask the question
There comes a time to choose
Do you want to live this life
Sneaking off to use?

It’s best they lose your number
Enabling them isn’t wise
You’re the brunt of all their anger
You get to witness their demise.

They don’t want to hurt you
They just want their fix.
The poison of their choosing
The cycle makes me sick

We go to their funeral
Gloss over all the crud
But secretly remember
They gave their life for a drug.
BjM 12-8-15

Seventy Four

There was a beginning,
Or more of a start
The memories flood forward
Our ways will soon part

A reason for leaving
A reason to go
A quest for my freedom
With baggage in tow

Think of the firsts
Mask over the lasts
Our time in the valley
Yea we had a blast

The time that I lent you
Oh it broke my heart
To come home and find you
Crumpled needing new parts

When we rebuilt you
The truth was revealed
A moment in time
Secrets concealed

Lives became altered
Friendships were strained
After the dust settled
You and I remained

We spun some tires
And ran from the cops
But there’s nothing like being
Airborne waiting to drop

Cruising the avenue
Foot to the floor,
Looking for trouble
Knowing the score

Kids in fast cars
Limits abound
Can you imagine?
The things that they found

The memories are plenty
The scars slowly fade
But there isn’t a moment
Of this time I would Trade.

This time shaped my future
As I carved out my past
Learning life lessons
Cruising round, driving fast.
BjM 12-8-15